“How Is Anyone Doing It?”: The New Reality of Financial Anxiety in America
The Impact of Financial Anxiety on American Households and Community-Based Solutions
It was a viral cry for help. On TikTok, a recent video shows a tearful mother of four asking the question on everyone’s mind: “How is anyone doing it?” Despite both parents working full-time, she says her family barely scrapes by each month, struggling to cover the mortgage and buy groceries.
The comments section overflows with echoes of her plight. “I’m thousands in credit card debt,” confesses one viewer. “Three months behind on my mortgage,” admits another. One person says they stopped paying health insurance premiums just to afford essentials. Others describe making “too much” to qualify for SNAP food assistance but not enough to feed their families without side gigs. Parents talk about picking up DoorDash shifts or Instacart deliveries after their 9-to-5 jobs, all to put dinner on the table.
The chorus of financial despair in this TikTok thread is heartbreaking, but it’s hardly surprising. Across the United States, financial anxiety has reached a fever pitch, as working families grapple with an economic vise of rising costs, high debt, and insufficient income.
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This TikTok moment is just one snapshot of a national crisis. Data shows that Americans’ money worries are at record highs. In a recent survey, 69% of U.S. adults said financial uncertainty has left them feeling depressed or anxious, a sharp increase from the year before. Nearly two-thirds say money worries keep them up at night and 44% have even skipped meals to afford bills.
Behind these statistics are real human stories playing out in every corner of the country. Two working parents are no longer a guarantee against hardship. Stagnant wages and skyrocketing costs have created a gap that many dual-income households still can’t bridge.
The result is a pervasive anxiety about money that penetrates well beyond wallets to and impacts everything from our minds and bodies to our relationships. To understand why this financial anxiety feels so overwhelming, and how we can become more resilient against it, we need to look at what chronic money stress actually does to the brain.
When Money Worries Take Over the Brain
Neuroscientists say financial stress lights up the same neural pathways as a life-or-death situation. The difference is that money stress doesn’t pass when the danger’s over. It sticks around for months, sometimes years. And that’s where the real damage happens.
It’s a brutal loop: money problems crank up distress, that distress fogs our decision-making, and poor decisions make the problems worse. When bills pile up, the brain reads them as a threat. The amygdala, our internal alarm system, floods the body with cortisol and adrenaline, kicking fight-or-flight into gear.
But when that alarm keeps ringing, the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that handles planning and self-control, starts to burn out. Executive function slips. Suddenly budgeting, resisting impulse or thinking past this week feels almost impossible. Researchers have even measured the hit: financial stress can drain cognitive capacity by about 13 IQ points, which is roughly equivalent to losing a full night’s sleep.
The toll does not stop with the brain. Financial anxiety is linked to depression, strained relationships and stress-related illnesses such as high blood pressure and heart disease. Many withdraw from social life out of shame, freeze when faced with financial decisions or lash out in frustration, which can worsen their situation.
This picture is grim, but it is also important to understand that financial anxiety is a whole-body experience that affects how we think, feel and act. It is not a personal failure or an irresponsibility; it is simply your brain responding to hardship. And just as importantly, it means there are ways to interrupt this cycle.
How to Manage Financial Anxiety
While we may not be able to snap our fingers and fix the broader economy, there are practical steps that can help individuals cope with financial anxiety and regain a sense of control. Financial stress might not vanish overnight, but these strategies can ease the mental burden and improve your situation over time:
Face the Situation & Make a Plan: It’s tempting to shut down when money problems feel overwhelming, but avoiding the issue often makes anxiety worse. Start by making a basic budget or list of all your monthly expenses and debts. Seeing the numbers can actually reduce panic by giving you concrete information to work with.
Then, identify one small financial goal (for example, cut $50 of spending, or set aside $10 a week) and outline steps to achieve it. Creating a simple plan and checking off tiny milestones can provide a sense of progress and control. Remember, even “small changes” like canceling an unused subscription or membership can add up over time. Treat it like a series of little wins rather than an insurmountable overhaul.
Seek Guidance: Talking about money stress is hard, but it can lighten the load on your brain. Consider confiding in a trusted friend or family member about what you’re facing, you might be surprised how many have been in your shoes and can offer empathy or ideas.
If your anxiety is overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek a mental health counselor or financial therapist (a professional specializing in the intersection of money and mental health). You are not the only one facing these struggles, and there are people and organizations prepared to help.
Build an Emergency Buffer (Bit by Bit): Nothing eases financial fear quite like having a safety net but when you’re barely making ends meet, the idea of saving three months’ expenses is laughable at best. Instead, start tiny. Try to put aside even $5 or $10 a week if you can; automate it if possible. The amount may seem trivial, but over time it grows, and more importantly it gives you a growing psychological cushion.
An emergency fund, however small, tells your brain that you have some padding against the next surprise expense. This reduces the constant dread of “What if the car breaks down?” or “What if I get sick and miss work?”. Even a few hundred dollars saved can prevent a minor crisis from spiraling. (And if a true emergency hits and you need mutual aid, remember that community resources like food pantries or free markets are there exactly for these situations. More on that shortly.)
Practice Stress-Management and Self-Care: It sounds cliché, but when your brain is in full fight-or-flight freakout mode, techniques like deep breathing, meditation or exercise really can help pull you out of the spiral. When panic about money strikes, stepping away for a brief breathing exercise or a quick walk can prevent rash reactions (like an impulsive purchase or angry outburst). Even just 60 seconds of controlled breathing can lower cortisol levels and calm the nervous system, while physical exercise is a proven stress reducer that improves mood and clear thinking.
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Likewise, basic self-care like maintaining a regular sleep schedule (to the extent you can) and eating as healthfully as possible will fortify your body and mind to handle stress. It’s hard to prioritize these when you’re busy or broke, but remember that burning yourself out will only worsen your finances in the long run by impairing your ability to work and make decisions.
Reframe and Refocus: Try to reframe financial challenges as solvable problems rather than personal failures. Shifting your mindset to view a debt not as a shameful hole, but as a challenge you can strategize around, can actually engage more rational parts of your brain. Some people find it helpful to keep a gratitude journal or remind themselves of non-monetary riches (family, skills, community) when money stress threatens to consume their identity.
It’s also important to set boundaries on financial worry: designate a time of day or week to review your finances, and outside of that, give yourself permission not to dwell on money 24/7. Why? Because constant rumination accomplishes nothing. So, when anxious thoughts creep in at other times, tell yourself, “I’ve scheduled time to handle that. Right now I’m going to focus on work/family/etc.” Over time, each small step you take, every saved dollar, every paid bill and every difficult conversation you have will help retrain your brain to see progress instead of just peril.
Finally, remember you are far from alone in this struggle. In communities across the country, people are finding creative ways to lift each other up through hard times. Financial anxiety thrives on the feeling of isolation but the truth is exactly the opposite: so many people are not “doing fine.” Sharing your story, or just hearing others’, can break that isolation.
Mutual Aid: Communities Helping Communities
If there’s a silver lining to the widespread nature of today’s financial strain, it’s this: people are banding together to help each other survive and even thrive. Across the nation, grassroots community support networks are springing up to become an essential lifeline for families in need.
When traditional institutions or government programs fall short, neighbors are turning to mutual aid: the simple but powerful idea that communities can pool resources and take care of their own. This can take many forms, from informal cash assistance circles to organized free markets where goods and services cost nothing. The underlying message is “we’re all in this together.” By sharing what we have, whether it be time, skills, extra food or hand-me-downs, we can soften the hardships for everyone.
One example making waves is the rise of Really Really Free Markets. Despite the tongue-twister name, the concept is straightforward: it’s like a yard sale or flea market, except everything is free. People bring whatever useful items they can donate (clothes, household goods, surplus produce from a garden, etc.) and anyone is welcome to take what they need, no questions asked and no money exchanged. These pop-up events, often held in parks or community centers, are organized entirely by volunteers as a kind of gift economy.
In addition to Free Markets, many cities and townships have seen a rise in volunteer-run community fridges where anyone can leave or take fresh food. There are also Little Free Pantries (the food equivalent of Little Free Libraries) stocked by neighbors. You can find mutual aid programs in your area via social media or by searching locally on HYVEMIND’s Mutual Aid and Community Resource Map.
Are you running a mutual aid program in your community? List your org and become part of The HYVE, our free-to-join community for the people and programs working to bridge the gaps and keep people afloat.
Financial anxiety might be a collective burden, but it’s one we can tackle together. The more we talk openly about it, the more we break the stigma that keeps people suffering in silence. As communities, pushing for better systems, such as thriving wages, affordable healthcare, accessible mental health services and robust safety net is more critical than ever.
But equally important is the humanity we show each other. In a time when so many are asking “How is anyone doing it?”, the only honest answer may be “with the support of one another.”
